Overview
If this is your first time here, welcome. You might be wondering why I used to have a blog dedicated to reviewing benches. Well, back in high school I was an amazing soccer player who chose (much to the dismay of my coaches and loyal fans – hey mom and dad!) to sit on the bench and drink water my entire senior year season. During this time I adopted the affectionate nickname, No Minutes Mako (NMM for short), and started this blog. So for those of you who used to come here in the early part of the second half of the period between 2010-2015, welcome back!
As you may have guessed (from suffering through that long
winded, mediocre, explanation) I have decided to re-vamp the old bench blog. This is not because I have finally agreed to join the Tufts Varsity
Soccer team, they have yet to agree to my playing terms of unlimited Mr. Pibb and
Sour Gummy Worms at every practice. Rather, I am spending this semester in Hong
Kong, and I wanted to give the seven people who accidentally came here after
Googling “Mr. Soccer Boy All America 2003” something to keep their creepy eyes busy. So without further ado, I present my first (hopefully of many)
Abroad Bench Blog posts.
I’ve been in Asia for exactly one month today and in that
time I have already been fortunate enough to sit on benches in four different countries. The first two weeks were spent traveling around with my parents and brother and these last two weeks I've been living it up in a dorm room on the 27th floor of a building that can only be described as a maximum security prison (read: not one but two guards to pass before I get to my room). In one short month I have had the pleasure of perching it on a boat in Vietnam, squatting in Thailand,
plopping down in China and of course resting on my rump in Hong Kong. I’ve started to learn a lot more about who I am, what it means to
be an American in the larger world, and which company has a monopoly on the
Asian toilet market (in case you didn't know, it’s Toto). I could go on and on describing the different places I've been, the people I've met and which Vietnamese family hates me for photo bombing them so many times on New Years Eve. But I'll get onto what you really care about, the quality of benches in Asia and unfortunate pictures taken of me along the way.
Ha Long Bay: After getting situated in Hong Kong for a few days, we headed for Vietnam. Upon arriving at the airport in Hanoi, we immediately got in a van and drove the four hours to Ha Long Bay. For those who don't know Ha Long Bay is one of the seven wonders of the world and therefore kind of indescribable...sorry. Although our boat tour left at 6:30 AM and it was cold and rainy, the experience was second to none. As we sailed through the foggy morning, passing massive green rock formations, I felt like a slightly taller but less handsome Johnny Depp searching for The Black Pearl. We reached a small fishing village mid morning and then took a wooden row boat around different fishing communities. The woman who rowed my fat American family of four was not only the strongest person I have ever met but sang beautiful old Vietnamese fishing songs as she navigated the blue-green waters.
Hanoi: I think I experienced the most culture shock in Hanoi. Part of it might have to do with the fact that while we were there my dad thought he was having either a 27 hour heart attack or had potentially contracted leprosy (good to know where my hypochondriac tendencies come from). Still, I would definitely recommend a visit to the ancient city to experience the chaotic traffic (seven million people and five million motorcycles), delicious food, and interesting political environment. The state mandated propaganda on New Years Eve was at a level I have never witnessed before. Walking around Hanoi and driving through Vietnam I was really aware how substantial of an impact the war had. The people I met were beautiful and kind. Someone my age can only imagine how upsetting it must have been to watch Vietnam and its people destroyed by the US for really no apparent reason.
Bench: I was lucky enough to sit on one bench in Ha Long Bay and although you wouldn't guess it from the face I'm making in the picture, it was actually incredibly comfortable! Although there was no back to support my 6'5 frame, I was able to effectively hunch over and rest the beginnings of what will sure to be a protruding abroad belly on my thighs. The smell of ocean air and ripe fish drying on the wooden dock definitely added to the sensory appeal of this bench. While the boat in the background may appear to be the most visually striking thing about this bench (besides my two-week old, verging on hasidic beard) it was actually the great view of fishermen hanging out and laughing while playing cards. Truly heart warming!
Bench Score: 9/10
But, the most amazing part of Bangkok for me was getting to spend the day with Benya Kraus and her awesome mom! We spent my mom's birthday with the two of them and my parents literally fell in love with Benya and her mother. They took us to royal palace, we all were treated to thai massages and ate amazing thai food as well. While we were at the the royal palace, Benya and I found a palace guard who kindly agreed to take a signature TWO pic with us (shout out to A13).
While we were seeing the reclining with the Kraus', everyone got blessed by a Buddhist monk, which was an incredibly *moist* experience.
After a few days in Bangkok we headed to the beach in Krabi for some R&R. There isn't much to report on our time there since most of it was spent reading and napping after 10 days of intense travel tourism. But I would be remiss not to include a picture of one of the most beautiful sunsets I have ever seen.
Bench: I sat on this bench for about 10 rickety minutes as we crossed the Chao Phraya River in Bangkok. Although you might be thinking to yourself, "self, that bench looks comfy as heck!"don't let my jovial expression fool you. This metallic beast sure hurt the ole' back and my 6'7 frame. I'm guessing this was due to the sharp 90 degree angle created between the back and "seat" area of the bench. Now don't get me wrong, the scenery was great and I happen to absolutely love Bangkok as a city but this bench really didn't cut it for me. Maybe I was just upset because I woke up that morning really wanting to color coordinate my shorts with all the places I would sit throughout the day, and couldn't quite match that bench's particular shade of blue :( Oh well. One bad bench wasn't going to ruin my day or my opinion of Thailand.
Vietnam: Ha Long Bay & Hanoi
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| Look at those pipes! |
Hanoi: I think I experienced the most culture shock in Hanoi. Part of it might have to do with the fact that while we were there my dad thought he was having either a 27 hour heart attack or had potentially contracted leprosy (good to know where my hypochondriac tendencies come from). Still, I would definitely recommend a visit to the ancient city to experience the chaotic traffic (seven million people and five million motorcycles), delicious food, and interesting political environment. The state mandated propaganda on New Years Eve was at a level I have never witnessed before. Walking around Hanoi and driving through Vietnam I was really aware how substantial of an impact the war had. The people I met were beautiful and kind. Someone my age can only imagine how upsetting it must have been to watch Vietnam and its people destroyed by the US for really no apparent reason.
Bench: I was lucky enough to sit on one bench in Ha Long Bay and although you wouldn't guess it from the face I'm making in the picture, it was actually incredibly comfortable! Although there was no back to support my 6'5 frame, I was able to effectively hunch over and rest the beginnings of what will sure to be a protruding abroad belly on my thighs. The smell of ocean air and ripe fish drying on the wooden dock definitely added to the sensory appeal of this bench. While the boat in the background may appear to be the most visually striking thing about this bench (besides my two-week old, verging on hasidic beard) it was actually the great view of fishermen hanging out and laughing while playing cards. Truly heart warming!Bench Score: 9/10
Thailand: Bangkok (get your mind out of the gutter!!) and Krabi
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| Thanks for the Snap, Dad! |
Bangkok: After a slightly tumultuous visit to Vietnam, we were ready to get to Thailand as soon as possible. In fact, Eli and I started off the journey by taking shots in the airport at 11:45 AM to celebrate New Years Eve with our friends on the East Coast (12 hour time difference). Needless to say we enjoyed some sweet, sweet rest on the flight. Since it was New Years weekend, most of the population of Bangkok left the city so fortunately we didn't have to experience the insane traffic that Bangkok is known for. In the city we saw multiple Buddhist temples, the largest golden Buddha in the world, the largest reclining Buddha in the world, and everyone in the fam had at least one case of what is affectionally referred to as "thaiarrhea."
But, the most amazing part of Bangkok for me was getting to spend the day with Benya Kraus and her awesome mom! We spent my mom's birthday with the two of them and my parents literally fell in love with Benya and her mother. They took us to royal palace, we all were treated to thai massages and ate amazing thai food as well. While we were at the the royal palace, Benya and I found a palace guard who kindly agreed to take a signature TWO pic with us (shout out to A13).
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| This man is not legally allowed to move |
While we were seeing the reclining with the Kraus', everyone got blessed by a Buddhist monk, which was an incredibly *moist* experience.
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| *moist* |
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| cool |
Bench: I sat on this bench for about 10 rickety minutes as we crossed the Chao Phraya River in Bangkok. Although you might be thinking to yourself, "self, that bench looks comfy as heck!"don't let my jovial expression fool you. This metallic beast sure hurt the ole' back and my 6'7 frame. I'm guessing this was due to the sharp 90 degree angle created between the back and "seat" area of the bench. Now don't get me wrong, the scenery was great and I happen to absolutely love Bangkok as a city but this bench really didn't cut it for me. Maybe I was just upset because I woke up that morning really wanting to color coordinate my shorts with all the places I would sit throughout the day, and couldn't quite match that bench's particular shade of blue :( Oh well. One bad bench wasn't going to ruin my day or my opinion of Thailand.
Bench Score: 6/10
Thailand Score: 10/10
That's all for now. Sorry if this was too long or if you thought it was too weird, I promise these posts will be shorter in the future...unfortunately I think they will be equally as strange. Anyways, sending love to all my friends back in the States. Especially you, Jeff! Stay golden and much love to all. -NMM (No Minutes Mako)
Thailand Score: 10/10
That's all for now. Sorry if this was too long or if you thought it was too weird, I promise these posts will be shorter in the future...unfortunately I think they will be equally as strange. Anyways, sending love to all my friends back in the States. Especially you, Jeff! Stay golden and much love to all. -NMM (No Minutes Mako)
